It’s 2020…how?! This has been my first blog post in quite some time and I’m really excited to get things rolling again. I haven’t been as active on my blog as I would have liked in 2019 and I really beat myself up about it (as per usual). I shook myself out of that negative headspace and told myself that it is completely okay to feel uninspired for a bit. It is impossible to have that motivated, high-spirited attitude 24/7 and that is OH-KAY. 2018 brought a lot of changes for me like starting school again, creating my blog, transforming my Instagram, and getting a new job! 2019 is where I settled into those new changes and honestly, I really needed that “nesting” period. I’m feeling refreshed and ready to go for 2020! I want to focus on getting back into my groove of really feeling like myself again. That starts with writing more posts like these! Next thing to accomplish, will be feeling strong + healthy again because let’s be honest….that most *definitely* took a backseat the second half of 2019 #whoops.
On another note, one nasty little habit I found myself getting into these last few months, is giving a sh*t about what other people think. It is such a gross feeling and that is probably why I haven’t been posting much. The anxiety of overthinking and questioning everything you do/say/post because you are afraid of what someone ‘might’ overtook my inspiration and confidence. I was questioning myself so much as to why I was feeling this way but the answer is pretty obvious. I haven’t been taking care of myself health-wise which results in me naturally feeling like crap so of course, negative thoughts are going to infiltrate and get comfortable in my mind. My weight has always fluctuated so when I am not at my best my mind automatically thinks “Oh God, people are going to judge me for falling off again.” That may be true with some people but LOL who cares? When I decided to start sharing my life with people I promised myself that I would be honest and the very popular dance of losing/gaining weight is the most honest thing that I go through in my life. I want to be able to show people that they aren’t the only person going through the constant struggle of being healthy and in turn I’m also looking for someone going through it too.
So all of that to say, my mantras going into 2020 are: I love myself, I do not care what others think, and I am not alone. I hope anybody going through a struggle in their lives can relate to this post! Reach out to me on my Instagram @halfnhalfof_rania to share your story with me!
Happy New Year my loves!!